By Bill Britton
Bombs-4-U Mk-2 "Peacemaker" Grenade
Special to
TPN — Florida Governor Rick Scott today signed into law an expansion of his
state’s controversial “Stand-Your-Ground” statute 776.013. Those with so-called
“carry” permits for handguns will be allowed to conceal on their persons not
more than two standard hand grenades for self-defense purposes.
“Our citizen
crime-fighters will enjoy a heightened sense of personal security with this
addition,” said Scott. “It will be especially effective when used against gangs
that enter white areas from the ‘hood.’ Not that I’m profiling
African-Americans—after all, if it’s a group of five, they could only be
looking for a pick-up game of basketball.”
Reaction
from National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre was swift: “I see this
as a natural progression from the flintlock firearms that our Founders used to
overcome British tyranny. Today, we have the tyranny of left-wing bureaucrats
trying to take our weapons away. I applaud Governor Scott for his wisdom and
courage.”
Grenades are
available online from Bombs-4-U, Inc. (bombs4u.com). A two-pack sells for $19.99
plus shipping and handling. For a limited time, the company is doubling the
offer to four grenades at the same price. Bombs-4-U president Dudley Petard
would not confirm reports that George Zimmerman, recently found innocent of
murdering Trayvon Martin in Florida, would be hired as a spokesperson: “Mr.
Zimmerman is a hero to the weapons industry. His level head and good judgment
is what we need more of on the streets and in the alleys of this great country.”
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