Adolph Hitler’s Residence Serves as Model
By Bill Britton
Special to TPN — Rep. Todd Akin (R–MO) is building a new summer home atop Taum Sauk Mountain, the highest point in Missouri. Rep. Akin is known famously as the one who clarified the difference between “rape” and “legitimate rape.” To his credit, he also wants to eliminate Social Security, Medicare, and lipstick, the “devil’s paint,” according to Akin.
Modeled after Adolph Hitler’s residence in the Bavarian Alps, Berghof West will be heavily fortified to lessen the risk of invasion by progressives and other fringe groups. A particular threat is Liam Breton, erstwhile candidate for president, who attempted to incite a national rebellion earlier this year (see http://www.thespoof.com/news/us/101588/new-luddite-party-wants-to-sew-it-up).
Albert Speer, Jr., son of Hitler’s architect and a respected draftsman in his own right, is the lead architect for Berghof West. “There will be no reminders of the good old days,” said Speer. “However, Todd feels that a razor-wire-topped-electrified fence would be appropriate, although he doesn’t want his German shepherd Blondi to be harmed. We might have to opt for guard towers. I saw some nice ones when I was a child.”
Adolph and friends at Berghof
When asked how he received permission to build on state park land, Akin said, “As a U.S. senator, I can do any damn thing I want.” He went on to remind reporters that he can “say anything I want, too. My record’s impeccable on that score. Next week I’m going to clarify the difference between ‘pedophilia’ and ‘legitimate pedophilia.’”