Anh Cao Drummed Out of Republican Party

Anh Cao Drummed Out of Republican Party

by Bill Britton, November 8, 2009

Washington — Representative Anh Cao of Louisiana, the only Republican to vote in favor of the health-care measure passed last night by the lower house, was formally drummed out of the party on Sunday morning. The formal ceremony was led by House minority whip Eric Cantor (R–VA). Cantor’s whip is similar to those once used by first mates on the Royal Navy’s sailing ships and are commonly called “cat-o’-nine-tails.”

In attendance, and adding a pleasant note to the proceedings, was the American Nazi Party’s Drum-and-Bugle Corps, which played “Whip It,” written by Jerry Casale and Mark Mothersbaugh, better known as the singing duo, Devo. In the background, Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) could be heard chanting, “Kill the bill, kill the bill.” Bachmann has been shouting her mantra since Thursday when she organized a large protest on Capitol Hill.

Blue Dog Democrat Bill Foster of Illinois expressed concern that Bachmann might now be rabid. “She certainly was frothing at the mouth earlier. I’m afraid that she might associate my first name with the word 'bill' as it relates to health care. After all, she is known to bite.”

President Obama called on the Democratic caucus before the House vote and urged its members to vote for the bill. Apparently this strategy worked when coupled with the well-known fact that House majority whip, James Clyburn (D–SC), keeps a cat-o’-twelve-tails in his desk.

Key to passage of the bill was an amendment to prohibit federal funds from being used to pay for abortions. Representative Jack Kingston (R–GA) said, “Abortions are in violation of God’s law. That Great Satan, your president, has done his best to move abortions out of alleyways where they belong. I’ve dedicated my 17 years in Congress to keeping them there.”