Sunday, August 1, 2010

OMB's Orszag: Sacrifices Will Be Made

OMB's Orszag: Sacrifices Will Be Made

By Bill Britton

USA Today reported that the percentage of federal workers who make more than $100,000 increased from 14 percent to 19 percent during the first eighteen months of the recession. Peter Orszag, Director of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), said, "We've all had to make sacrifices at the federal level during these difficult economic times. We originally had a target of 25 percent just to keep up with Wall Street, but Congress felt that 19 percent would better reflect the Administration's intention to get serious about government spending."

Chico Meatornillan, head caretaker at Vice President Joe Biden's residence, located on the grounds of the United States Naval Observatory, responded angrily to this reporter's question about his two assistant's salaries: "Sure my cousin José is OK at $119,000 a year, but his son José, or Hose-B as we like to call him-he's in charge of winding up the garden hoses-is only making $79,000. How can you live on that and still have fourteen kids?"

One government department that will see its share of $100,000-plus workers increase substantially is the National Weather Service. Director Dr. John L. Hayes said to this reporter that "My guys and gals deserve it. They've increased the accuracy of the agency's 3-day forecasts to 6 percent, up from a measly 5 percent during the Bush Administration. Now you can plan your weekend with the certainty that it will be sunny, or maybe not, depending on what El Niño, or La Niña, or whatever the heck's out there right now, is doing. Excuse me, but the duck paté served with tapanade, cornichons, herb Dijon mustard, and housemade chutney that I had at L'Auberge Provençale last night just kicked in my dyslexia. But what a deal at $129 for two!"

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